As a designer I’ve spent the last decade translating human needs and desires into experiences that fulfill them — and I’m convinced: the human-centered design process demands more than just empathy with others; it requires a deep understanding of our own selves.

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Human-Centered Design: Why Empathy Isn’t Everything

Practitioners of human-centered design focus on the importance of empathizing with others and removing our own bias when evaluating their needs. After all, we often find ourselves designing for people who are quite different from us, with different needs, desires, and underlying value systems. But here’s the rub: we’re human too. As human translators, it is impossible to be purely objective and unbiased for precisely the same reason we’re able to empathize with others: humans are emotional beings. We need emotion to uncover insights. But empathy has a few unfortunate characteristics as well — “it is parochial, narrow-minded, and innumerate,” as argued in a New Yorker article titled <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/05/20/the-baby-in-the-well">“The Case Against Empathy.”</a> While we’re busy empathizing with the needs of the few, we may be missing something much greater. Take, for example, the emergent on-demand economy. Uber, Instacart, Wash.io, and Sprig are among a myriad of on-demand services replacing what some might deem inconvenient, but necessary, chores. In isolation, each of these services provides real value. These are high-quality, convenient, and frictionless experiences, and they ultimately save people time to do more of what they care about. In aggregate, however, these services make a strong argument for what the future should be — one where everything is available on-demand and every experience is almost entirely free of friction.

This tweet from <a href="https://twitter.com/StartupLJackson/status/408137232533303296">Startup L. Jackson</a> conjures up the image of a dystopian future where obese people glide around in comfortable seats and interface solely with a screen, despite the sincere attempts of our dear friend Wall-E, defender of the human experience. By removing all friction, we remove moments for personal growth, serendipity, and self-reflection. At scale, these erode our social values and skew our lives towards intolerance and impatience, a lack of resilience and an inability to navigate change. Is that the future as it should be? Where once we had the luxury of longer timelines to reflect on how new technologies would impact our lives, today we have months, weeks, if not days before they’ve completely transformed our expectations, values, and the way we live our lives. So whose responsibility is it to ask whether something is “good” or “better” or as it “should be”? If we’re engaging in a truly human-centered design process, then it is our responsibility to ask these questions. To responsibly design for humanity, we must first know ourselves. But the responsibility also extends beyond designers. It is every single individual’s responsibility to ask these questions and to know themselves — their values, needs, and desires — so we can all have a productive conversation about the future as it should be. Designing to address the implications of macro-trends — like the on-demand economy — and their impact on our lives at scale isn’t enough. We need to design products, services, and experiences that help people understand themselves better. Design is, after all, a fundamentally philosophical profession. What do you value?

Steve Selzer

Steve is a former Creative Director based in San Francisco, Ca.

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Steve-Selzer-300x300

The best gift I’ve ever given was a 1940s Parker 51 fountain pen. It was a birthday present to my best friend Taylor, a PhD student with a professorial look — round tortoise shell spectacles, elbow-patched blazer, a leather briefcase and loafers. The pen not only rounds out his look, but it's one of his favorite gifts of all time.

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A Designer's Guide to Gift Giving

I haven’t always been a great “gifter.” For years I’d struggled to give great gifts because I was paralyzed by indecision, constraints, or lack of inspiration — until I discovered five principles to guide me. Follow all five principles and you’ll give the perfect gift. But there’s just one absolutely essential principle that you have to follow to give a great gift, and it turns out it’s also the easiest.

If I had asked Taylor whether he needed a vintage fountain pen, he probably would have said no. If he had said yes and I got it for him anyway, the gift would have felt transactional, like giving cash. The key here was that his need for the Parker 51 was unknown to him.
Identifying an unknown need requires curiosity and empathy — just like design research. What do they value? Why? Look for patterns in the stuff they buy or own — what are they not getting for themselves? What will their experience be like once they have this gift? Can you imagine and feel how enriched their life will be once they have it?
Giving a gift that fulfills an unknown need is tremendously impactful. But if this sounds intimidating, believe me, I couldn’t agree more. This is the most difficult principle to fulfill, but entirely worth the effort. If you’re finding this one impossible, fear not, they get easier.
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Fulfill an Unknown Need

The Parker 51 isn’t any old pen; it was “The World’s Most Wanted Pen” of the 1940s! This American-made pen is functionally superior to many pens in its class. It’s not only high quality, it performs an important function — it enables Taylor to enjoy writing by hand again.
Giving a high-quality gift that performs an important function is also incredibly powerful. I’ve successfully gifted high quality soaps, socks, and toothbrushes, so it doesn’t have to be a rare vintage pen to fulfill this principle.

Give a High-Quality, Functional Gift

If you’ve never seen a Parker 51, I highly recommend googling it. The black barrel with silver bejeweled cap is arguably one of the most elegant and timeless designs ever. But its beauty isn’t merely its physical aesthetic: the more you write with a fountain pen, the more the nib that regulates the flow of ink conforms to your specific writing angle and pressure. The effect is that your pen becomes truly personalized.
Beautiful and unique gifts like works of art can be tricky if you and the person receiving the gift don’t appreciate the same aesthetics. Be sure to acknowledge their preferences before imposing yours, or do some research to see whether other people objectively agree. In any case, take risks. It’s better than being overly conservative.

Give a Beautiful, Unique Gift

It’s easy to see how mass consumerism can cast a negative light on the act of gift giving. But the Parker 51 embodies the desire to cultivate long-lasting relationships with our earthly possessions — to love and care for one pen keeps Taylor from discarding hundreds of disposable ones.
If all else fails, give a gift that is socially responsible, sustainable, or creates social impact. At minimum, both you and your giftee should feel good about making that kind of contribution.

Give a Gift That Does Good

“This pen,” I told him, “will always be your best writing instrument. It will only get better with age. And may it also serve as a symbol of our friendship.”
At least, I was aiming for something to that effect.
The point is, without my story, this Parker 51 serves no purpose beyond its function and beauty. With my story, the gift elevates our friendship, and the pen itself.
A gift without a story is like a punch line without a joke. It’s absolutely essential that you say something about your gift. Provide context. Tell your “giftee” why you got it for them, how you found it, how it made you feel when you saw it. And tell them before they open it so there is anticipation. If you only fulfill one of these 5 principles, let it be this one.
The Parker 51 is the last pen Taylor will ever need. It’s a beautiful, functional, meaningful, and sustainable gift.
This holiday season, I urge you to try and give your best gift ever.

Tell a Meaningful Story

Learn about Steve Selzer: view profile, expertise, work, and author contributions on frog, part of Capgemini Invent.

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